Season 1
Episode
1
- Pilot
Episode
2
- Big Flappy Bastards
Episode
3
- Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Episode
4
- If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap
Episode
5
- The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump
Episode
6
- Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Episode
7
- If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Episode
8
- Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Episode
9
- Phase One, Complete
Episode
10
- Merry Thanksgiving
Episode
11
- Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Episode
12
- Camel Filters + Pheromones
Episode
13
- Sara Like Puny Alan
Episode
14
- I Can't Afford Hyenas
Episode
15
- Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Episode
16
- That Was Saliva, Alan
Episode
17
- Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats
Episode
18
- An Old Flame With a New Wick
Episode
19
- I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Episode
20
- Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark
Episode
21
- No Sniffing, No Wowing
Episode
22
- My Doctor has a Cow Puppet
Episode
23
- Just Like Buffalo
Episode
24
- Can You Feel My Finger?
Season 2
Episode
1
- Back Off Mary Poppins
Episode
2
- Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Episode
3
- A Bag Full of Jawea
Episode
4
- Go Get Mommy's Bra
Episode
5
- Bad News from the Clinic
Episode
6
- The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Episode
7
- A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Episode
8
- Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Episode
9
- Yes, Monsignor
Episode
10
- The Salmon Under My Sweater
Episode
11
- Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Episode
12
- A Lungful of Alan
Episode
13
- Get Off My Hair
Episode
14
- Those Big Pink Things with Coconut
Episode
15
- Smell the Umbrella Stand
Episode
16
- Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Episode
17
- Woo-Hoo, A Hernia-Exam!
Episode
18
- It Was Mame, Mom
Episode
19
- A Low, Gutteral Tongue-Flapping Noise
Episode
20
- I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Episode
21
- A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Episode
22
- That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Episode
23
- Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Episode
24
- Does This Smell Funny to You?
Season 3
Episode
1
- Weekend in Bangkok with Two Olympic Gymnasts
Episode
2
- Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Episode
3
- Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Episode
4
- Your Dismissive Attidude Towards Boobs
Episode
5
- We Called It Mr. Pinky
Episode
6
- Hi, Mr. Horned One
Episode
7
- Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Episode
8
- That Voodoo That I Do Do
Episode
9
- Madame and Her Special friend
Episode
10
- Something Salted and Twisted
Episode
11
- Santa's Village of the Damned
Episode
12
- That Special Tug
Episode
13
- Humiliation is a Visual Medium
Episode
14
- Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Episode
15
- My Tongue is Meat
Episode
16
- Ergo, The Booty Call
Episode
17
- The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
Episode
18
- The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Episode
19
- Golly Moses, She's A Muffin
Episode
20
- Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Episode
21
- And the Plot Moistens
Episode
22
- Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Episode
23
- Arguments for the Quickie
Episode
24
- That Pistol-Packin' Hermaphrodite
Season 4
Episode
1
- Working for Caligula
Episode
2
- Who's Vod Kanockers?
Episode
3
- The Sea is a Harsh Mistress
Episode
4
- A Pot Smoking Monkey
Episode
5
- A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Episode
6
- Apologies for the Frivolity
Episode
7
- Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Episode
8
- Release the Dogs
Episode
9
- Corey's Been Dead For an Hour
Episode
10
- Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Episode
11
- Walnuts and Demerol
Episode
12
- Castrating Sheep in Montana
Episode
13
- Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Episode
14
- That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Episode
15
- My Damn Stalker
Episode
16
- Young People Have Phlegm Too
Episode
17
- I Merely Slept With a Commie
Episode
18
- It Never Rains in Hooterville
Episode
19
- Smooth as a Ken Doll
Episode
20
- Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Episode
21
- Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Episode
22
- Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Episode
23
- Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-lookin
Episode
24
- Prostitutes and Gelato
Season 5
Episode
1
- Large Birds, Spiders and Mom
Episode
2
- Media Room Slash Dungeon
Episode
3
- Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Episode
4
- City of Great Racks
Episode
5
- Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Episode
6
- Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Episode
7
- The Leather Gear is in the Guest Room
Episode
8
- Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Episode
9
- Shoes, Hats, Pickle, Jar Lids.
Episode
10
- Kinda Like Necrophilia
Episode
11
- Meander to Your Dander
Episode
12
- A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Episode
13
- The Soil is Moist
Episode
14
- Winky-Dink Time
Episode
15
- Rough Night in Hump Junction (aka His Ugly Bundle)
Episode
16
- Look At Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Episode
17
- Fish in a Drawer
Episode
18
- If My Hole Could Talk
Episode
19
- Waiting for the Right Snapper
Season 6
Episode
1
- Taterhead is Our Love Child
Episode
2
- Pie Hole, Herb
Episode
3
- Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Episode
4
- The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Episode
5
- A Jock Strap in Hell
Episode
6
- It's Always Nazi Week (1)
Episode
7
- Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Episode
8
- Pinocchio's Mouth
Episode
9
- The Mooch At The Boo
Episode
10
- He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Episode
11
- The Devil's Lube
Episode
12
- Thank God for Scoliosis
Episode
13
- I Think You Offended Don
Episode
14
- David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Episode
15
- I'd Like to Start With the Cat
Episode
16
- She'll Still Be Dead At Halftime
Episode
17
- The 'Ocu' Or The 'Pado'?
Episode
18
- My Son's Enormous Head
Episode
19
- The Two Finger Rule
Episode
20
- Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Episode
21
- Above Exalted Cyclops
Episode
22
- Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Episode
23
- Good Morning, Mrs. Butterworth
Episode
24
- Baseball with Better Steroids
Season 7
Episode
1
- 818-jklpuzo
Episode
2
- Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Episode
3
- Mmm, Fish. Yum.
Episode
4
- Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Episode
5
- For the Sake of the Child
Episode
6
- Give Me Your Thumb
Episode
7
- Untainted by Filth
Episode
8
- Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle.
Episode
9
- Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Episode
10
- That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Episode
11
- Warning, It's Dirty
Episode
12
- Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Episode
13
- Yay, No Polyps!
Episode
14
- Crude and Uncalled For (1)
Episode
15
- Aye, Aye, Captain Douche (2)
Episode
16
- Tinkle Like a Princess
Episode
17
- I Found Your Moustache
Episode
18
- Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Episode
19
- Keith Moon Is Vomiting in His Grave
Episode
20
- I Called Him Magoo
Episode
21
- Gumby with a Pokey
Episode
22
- This is Not Gonna End Well
Season 8
Episode
1
- Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud
Episode
2
- A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Episode
3
- A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Episode
4
- Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Episode
5
- The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Episode
6
- Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Episode
7
- The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Episode
8
- Springtime on a Stick
Episode
9
- A Good Time In Central Africa
Episode
10
- Ow, Ow, Don't Stop
Episode
11
- Dead From the Waist Down
Episode
12
- Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Episode
13
- Skunk, Dog Crap and Ketchup
Episode
14
- Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Episode
15
- Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Episode
16
- That Darn Priest
Season 9
Episode
1
- Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt
Episode
2
- People Who Love Peepholes
Episode
3
- Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Episode
4
- Nine Magic Fingers
Episode
5
- A Giant Cat Holding Churro
Episode
6
- The Squat and The Hover
Episode
7
- Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Episode
8
- Thank You For The Intercourse
Episode
9
- Frodo's Headshots
Episode
10
- Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Episode
11
- A Lovely Landing Strip
Episode
12
- One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Episode
13
- Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Episode
14
- A Possum on Chemo
Episode
15
- The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack
Episode
16
- Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Episode
17
- Not In My Mouth
Episode
18
- The War Against Gingivitis
Episode
19
- Palmdale, Ech
Episode
20
- Grandma's Pie
Episode
21
- Mr. Hose Says Yes
Episode
22
- Why We Gave Up Women
Episode
23
- The Straw In My Donut Hole
Episode
24
- Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Season 10
Episode
1
- I Changed My Mind About the Milk
Episode
2
- A Big Bag of Dog
Episode
3
- Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Episode
4
- You Do Know What The Lollipop Is For
Episode
5
- That's Not What They Call It In Amsterdam
Episode
6
- Ferrets, Attack!
Episode
7
- Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Episode
8
- Something My Gynecologist Said
Episode
9
- I Scream When I Pee
Episode
10
- One Nut Johnson
Episode
11
- Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Episode
12
- Welcome to Alancrest
Episode
13
- Grab A Feather And Get In Line
Episode
14
- Run Steven Staven! Run!
Episode
15
- Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Episode
16
- Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Episode
17
- Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Episode
18
- The 9:04 From Pemberton
Episode
19
- Big Episode: Someone Stole a Spoon
Episode
20
- Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Episode
21
- Another Night With Neil Diamond
Episode
22
- My Bodacious Vidalia
Episode
23
- Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Season 11
Episode
1
- Nangnangnangnang
Episode
2
- I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Episode
3
- This Unblessed Biscuit
Episode
4
- Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Episode
5
- Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Episode
6
- Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Episode
7
- Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Episode
8
- Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Episode
9
- Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Episode
10
- On vodka, on soda, on blender, on Mixer!
Episode
11
- Tazed In The Lady Nuts
Episode
12
- Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Episode
13
- Bite Me, Supreme Court
Episode
14
- Three Fingers of Creme de Menthe
Episode
15
- Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Episode
16
- How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Episode
17
- Welcome Home, Jake
Episode
18
- West Side Story
Episode
19
- Daddy's Got a Healthy Flavor Stick
Episode
20
- Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Episode
21
- Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Episode
22
- Oh, WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Season 12
Episode
1
- The Ol' Mexican Spinach
Episode
2
- A Chic Bar in Ibiza
Episode
3
- Glamping in a Yurt
Episode
4
- Thirty-Eight, Sixty-Two, Thirty-Eight
Episode
5
- Oontz. Oontz. Oontz.
Episode
6
- Alan Shot a Little Girl
Episode
7
- Sex with an Animated Ed Asner
Episode
8
- Family, Bublé, Deep-Fried Turkey
Episode
9
- Bouncy, Bouncy, Bouncy, Lyndsey
Episode
10
- Here I Come, Pants!
Episode
11
- For Whom the Booty Calls
Episode
12
- A Beer Battered Rip-Off
Episode
13
- Boompa Loved His Hookers
Episode
14
- Don't Give a Monkey a Gun
Episode
15
- Of Course He's Dead (1)
Episode
16
- Of Course He's Dead (2)
Two and a Half Men
A hedonistic jingle writer’s free-wheeling life comes to an abrupt halt when his brother and 10-year-old nephew move into his beach-front house.
Director: Chuck Lorre, Lee Aronsohn
Actors: Amber Tamblyn, Angus T. Jones, Ashton Kutcher, Charlie Sheen, Conchata Ferrell, Holland Taylor, Jon Cryer, Marin Hinkle, Melanie Lynskey
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